I woke up this morning with a lot on my mind. Quite often there are so many things to do that I don't know where to begin. I made my coffee, fed the dogs and the cats and looked out the bedroom window.
I gazed at the horse fields that are now empty. Some recent back problems made it almost impossible for me to keep my horses, and they went on to new homes and new lives. I felt the ache in my heart that longed to hear the thunder of their hoofs up the hill at feeding time, the smell of the leather in the barn and the way they would whinny when they would see me coming to groom them. "I want!" "I want my horses," I found myself saying out loud.
I grabbed my coffee and proceeded to the kitchen to sit down and check on the status of the seminary. "Wow, are we busy," I found myself saying. "I want more help."
I decided to print off a few emails that requested a call from me so that I could keep them handy. Some were from the West Coast and 8:00 am in Maryland was no time to call California! My printer stalled and I found myself saying "I want a new printer."
"I want, I want, I want." Already this morning I had said those words to myself, out loud, several times. Each "I want" brought with it a deep longing for life to be more complete with less scarcity. Each "I want" took the focus off of any possibility of feeling gratitude for what "I have."
I could feel my mood begin to plummet. "There's that old ego rearing its ugly face," I said to myself. I decided to pick up the Course in Miracles and open it randomly. This is what I read:
Changes are required in the minds of God's teachers. This may or may not involve changes in the externalsituation. Remember that no one is where he is byaccident, and chance plays no part in God's plan. (M-9:1-3)
I needed to change my mind about all of this. According to the Course, it wasn't the horses, the printer or the extra help I wanted that needed to change. It was my perception of them.
Next, I read my favorite Psalm - Psalm 23, a psalm of David
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. This told my heart not to yearn for things that I no longer have -- my horses. It is all in God's hands, not mine.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters, These words reminded me of all the peace I can find within my own heart.
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake. Now I was feeling balanced again. "I turn this day over to you dear God. You will guide my every step."
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me. Now I knew there was nothing to "want."
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows. My enemies were simply my own thoughts about the things I thought I wanted.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever. Now I was overwhelmed with gratitude and peace.
I ended this contemplation with prayer, as I did each and every day.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for speaking to me today and guiding me back to joy and gratitude.
I turn this day over to you, knowing that you will guide my every step.
Pastor Barb: I read the contemplation you wrote on Scarcity. It was a wonderful message. There was an important typo that I believe you will want to correct. The passage you were quoting is from Psalm 23, not 24. I know that for some who may want to reference this may become confused or frustrated. Sadly, we live in a time that we Christians live under a harshly critical microscope to cast doubts upon our depth of knowledge. I hope you will receive this in love, it is certainly meant to be received in love.
Love in Christ,
Suzanne
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Hi Suzanne,
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Dear Rev. Barbara: Thank you for your timely response. We are both living in the "winter zone", you in Maryland and I in Pennsylvania, so, I have been shoveling a lot of snow.
Love in Christ,
Suzanne
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Not only do we want what we want, we want it when we want it. God will often step in at these times and give us a lesson in patience or humility or both. Failure to pay attention results in acting out behaviors, drug use, criminal activities, and any of another of acts that are against the will of God. Self-will run riot instead of God's will.
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Wow!, this was a real quality post. In theory I'd like to write like this too - taking time and real effort to make a good article... but what can I say... I keep putting it off and never seem to get something done.
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Good Day!
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